I've exercised for three days in a row.
Three days ! Just a couple more and I'll be in a habit !!!
I'm following a Couch to 5K plan to walk/jog a 5K in five weeks.
Saturday and today I did intervals: "run 1 minute/walk 3 minutes" for a total of 30 minutes, plus a five minute walk for a warm up and a cool down.
Yesterday was a "rest" day, so I did a 20 minute walk at a moderate pace.
Tomorrow I'm going to go to Jazzercise.
Wednesday is going to be hard - I'm going to have to do that walk/run combo IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD in the early morning which means that people might see me which is going to be totally embarrassing.
I've been getting shin splints while walking and running. So I google researched it, adjusted my form for running, and now I only get them while walking, so the run parts actually feel like a relief !
But still, three days in a row. I can't stop now.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Thursday, November 29, 2012
… And I'm back. Again.
For the fourth, or fifth, or six, or 27th time. I lost count, and I don't care. All I know is that I'm not giving up!
I had come close to giving up recently. I mean the official giving up where you actively say "I am not going to try to lose weight anymore" not to be confused with the unofficial giving up where you just stop doing all the things that you're supposed to be doing like exercising and eating healthy. I bought some new clothes in this larger size and I thought I still looked good, but the plain truth is that I am overweight my BMI is ridiculous and my knees hurt and my feet hurt. I have enough overweight relatives to know what comes next-it will actually become painful to exercise. I have enough trouble making myself exercise without it being painful, so I may as well stop gaining weight while I'm at this point.
I tried on a pair of my favorite pants recently and couldn't even zip them. I thought to myself "oh my god what have you done what have you done to your self?"
Even my dear sweet husband who has never said a single word to me about gaining weight, I can see that there is something different between us now. I've been able to sense at times some irritation on his part after we stop somewhere for food or I run back in the house to grab something to eat.
Being fat is the only thing, and I do mean the only thing, in my life that I hate. I have a fantastic life which is a result of some luck and making some really good decisions along the way.
I think about my size and about being fat and about how much I want to be thin what feels like every moment of the day. In reality, I think about it every morning when I wake up, every night when I go to bed, and every time I get dressed, or every time I see myself in the mirror. So maybe that's not every minute of the day, but it's a lot of minutes.
I think about food almost as much. I think about how much I hate cooking, how much I hate preparing food for myself, and and how I shouldn't eat or how I should not have eaten whatever it is that I'm about to eat or that I have just eaten.
For an average person at a healthy weight, I wonder if they think about this ?Are all of their thoughts encompassed with this sort of thinking as mine are ?
For today, there has been success. It is now 720 at night and the only thing I had eaten today that I shouldn't has been an extra dinner roll at dinner. Of course I haven't eaten near the amount of fruits and vegetables that I should, but right now I'm really just trying to focus on not putting crap into my body. I am inordinately proud of myself for this and I feel like I am on top of the world that I have made it through one day Without unnecessary sugar or crap.
I hope I can say the same tomorrow.
I had come close to giving up recently. I mean the official giving up where you actively say "I am not going to try to lose weight anymore" not to be confused with the unofficial giving up where you just stop doing all the things that you're supposed to be doing like exercising and eating healthy. I bought some new clothes in this larger size and I thought I still looked good, but the plain truth is that I am overweight my BMI is ridiculous and my knees hurt and my feet hurt. I have enough overweight relatives to know what comes next-it will actually become painful to exercise. I have enough trouble making myself exercise without it being painful, so I may as well stop gaining weight while I'm at this point.
I tried on a pair of my favorite pants recently and couldn't even zip them. I thought to myself "oh my god what have you done what have you done to your self?"
Even my dear sweet husband who has never said a single word to me about gaining weight, I can see that there is something different between us now. I've been able to sense at times some irritation on his part after we stop somewhere for food or I run back in the house to grab something to eat.
Being fat is the only thing, and I do mean the only thing, in my life that I hate. I have a fantastic life which is a result of some luck and making some really good decisions along the way.
I think about my size and about being fat and about how much I want to be thin what feels like every moment of the day. In reality, I think about it every morning when I wake up, every night when I go to bed, and every time I get dressed, or every time I see myself in the mirror. So maybe that's not every minute of the day, but it's a lot of minutes.
I think about food almost as much. I think about how much I hate cooking, how much I hate preparing food for myself, and and how I shouldn't eat or how I should not have eaten whatever it is that I'm about to eat or that I have just eaten.
For an average person at a healthy weight, I wonder if they think about this ?Are all of their thoughts encompassed with this sort of thinking as mine are ?
For today, there has been success. It is now 720 at night and the only thing I had eaten today that I shouldn't has been an extra dinner roll at dinner. Of course I haven't eaten near the amount of fruits and vegetables that I should, but right now I'm really just trying to focus on not putting crap into my body. I am inordinately proud of myself for this and I feel like I am on top of the world that I have made it through one day Without unnecessary sugar or crap.
I hope I can say the same tomorrow.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Tomorrow is the 1st day !
Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life.
My weight is the only area of my life that I can't seem to control, and it is the only thing about me where other people would be able to see my flaws.
Everywhere else and everything else about me is good. I have a good marriage that I work hard at, good friends, I volunteer, and I work part-time. I am organized in my house and my life, I cook dinner for my family 5 nights a week.
I am on a continual quest to be a better person, to improve myself.
Why can't I manage the food that I put in my mouth. I can control or at least deal with so very many other things that are beyond my control, why can't I handle my weight which is actually in my control ?!?!?!
I'm waking up tomorrow, going to boot camp, and here's my food plan for tomorrow:
eggs, whole wheat toast, and fruit for breakfast
water
coffee and 1/2 a fiber one bar
small salad, turkey sandwich and water
baked lays and diet coke
fruit and cheese stick
chicken, edamamae
yogurt, granola, and fruit for dessert
I CAN DO THIS !!!!
My weight is the only area of my life that I can't seem to control, and it is the only thing about me where other people would be able to see my flaws.
Everywhere else and everything else about me is good. I have a good marriage that I work hard at, good friends, I volunteer, and I work part-time. I am organized in my house and my life, I cook dinner for my family 5 nights a week.
I am on a continual quest to be a better person, to improve myself.
Why can't I manage the food that I put in my mouth. I can control or at least deal with so very many other things that are beyond my control, why can't I handle my weight which is actually in my control ?!?!?!
I'm waking up tomorrow, going to boot camp, and here's my food plan for tomorrow:
eggs, whole wheat toast, and fruit for breakfast
water
coffee and 1/2 a fiber one bar
small salad, turkey sandwich and water
baked lays and diet coke
fruit and cheese stick
chicken, edamamae
yogurt, granola, and fruit for dessert
I CAN DO THIS !!!!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Weeks 5, 6, 7
Oof - did things fall apart or what ?
Well, they didn't really fall apart. I continued to do consistently well during the week for week 5, but then weeks 6 and 7 my husband was traveling, or we were all traveling, or there was red velvet cake in the office (my favorite) and I decided I needed a break for a couple of days.
The only accomplishment I can note is that when I did choose to eat something unhealthy or something I didn't need, I only had one serving. Meaning, 1 slice of cake, or 1 cupcake, or 1 Reese's peanut butter heart, or 1 Snickers. This is better than eating 2 servings !
I kept up my exercise every time I had a legitimate opportunity. So, for example, if the husband was out of town, I clearly couldn't leave the kids at home by themselves to go to jazzercise, nor do I want to pay $30 for a babysitter. But I did run at my friend's house several more times.
I also experienced some great workouts on some really quality equipment at my parent's gym when we were visiting them. My parents belong to a beautiful gym connected to a hospital complex type thing and they work out regularly. I did two run/walk workouts on the treadmill and 1 workout on the elliptical. I knew that I needed to have my heart rate up for at least 40 minutes and that I also wanted to go 2.5 miles. I was SHOCKED though at how many more calories I could burn my taking the incline up one level and by running for 65 or 70 seconds instead of just 60. I also tried a couple times to make my run intervals last for 2 minutes. I found that as long as I knew that I didn't have to do it every time, then it wasn't quite as daunting.
I also experienced how my hardest point comes at around 10 minutes into my work out, but once I've passed 20 minutes, I feel some endorphins or something kick in. Man, that feels awesome.
So, my new (optimal) workout routine is this:
Monday: Jazzercise
Tuesday: Jazzercise make-up if need be
Wednesday: Running (morning); and yoga (evening)
Friday: Running (morning)
Saturday: Jazzercise (morning)
Jazzercise includes a weight training segment, so if I can add in another weight training session, then I'll be in really good shape.
I've also cut down on some other community type commitments that had evening meetings. But with the meetings I have left, trying to see my friends (1-2 evenings per month), and date night (1x per month); I'm usually away from my kids 3 nights a week. Luckily I can usually schedule the social stuff so I'm not away from them 4 nights a week.
Of course, that optimal schedule also includes my husband being at home, which is tough since it's a busy time for him.
And doesn't something always seem to get in the way ? For example, look at what's on tap for this week:
I'm having some dental work done on Monday and I'll be under sedation, so I won't make jazzercise that night.
Tuesday night, the husband will be gone.
Wednesday day the girls have a dentist appointment so I can't run then, and Wednesday evening I have a meeting, so I can't go to jazzercise.
I will be able to run Friday morning and go to Jazzercise on Saturday morning, so that's good.
How about you - have you found any creative ways to squeeze in your exercise ?
Well, they didn't really fall apart. I continued to do consistently well during the week for week 5, but then weeks 6 and 7 my husband was traveling, or we were all traveling, or there was red velvet cake in the office (my favorite) and I decided I needed a break for a couple of days.
The only accomplishment I can note is that when I did choose to eat something unhealthy or something I didn't need, I only had one serving. Meaning, 1 slice of cake, or 1 cupcake, or 1 Reese's peanut butter heart, or 1 Snickers. This is better than eating 2 servings !
I kept up my exercise every time I had a legitimate opportunity. So, for example, if the husband was out of town, I clearly couldn't leave the kids at home by themselves to go to jazzercise, nor do I want to pay $30 for a babysitter. But I did run at my friend's house several more times.
I also experienced some great workouts on some really quality equipment at my parent's gym when we were visiting them. My parents belong to a beautiful gym connected to a hospital complex type thing and they work out regularly. I did two run/walk workouts on the treadmill and 1 workout on the elliptical. I knew that I needed to have my heart rate up for at least 40 minutes and that I also wanted to go 2.5 miles. I was SHOCKED though at how many more calories I could burn my taking the incline up one level and by running for 65 or 70 seconds instead of just 60. I also tried a couple times to make my run intervals last for 2 minutes. I found that as long as I knew that I didn't have to do it every time, then it wasn't quite as daunting.
I also experienced how my hardest point comes at around 10 minutes into my work out, but once I've passed 20 minutes, I feel some endorphins or something kick in. Man, that feels awesome.
So, my new (optimal) workout routine is this:
Monday: Jazzercise
Tuesday: Jazzercise make-up if need be
Wednesday: Running (morning); and yoga (evening)
Friday: Running (morning)
Saturday: Jazzercise (morning)
Jazzercise includes a weight training segment, so if I can add in another weight training session, then I'll be in really good shape.
I've also cut down on some other community type commitments that had evening meetings. But with the meetings I have left, trying to see my friends (1-2 evenings per month), and date night (1x per month); I'm usually away from my kids 3 nights a week. Luckily I can usually schedule the social stuff so I'm not away from them 4 nights a week.
Of course, that optimal schedule also includes my husband being at home, which is tough since it's a busy time for him.
And doesn't something always seem to get in the way ? For example, look at what's on tap for this week:
I'm having some dental work done on Monday and I'll be under sedation, so I won't make jazzercise that night.
Tuesday night, the husband will be gone.
Wednesday day the girls have a dentist appointment so I can't run then, and Wednesday evening I have a meeting, so I can't go to jazzercise.
I will be able to run Friday morning and go to Jazzercise on Saturday morning, so that's good.
How about you - have you found any creative ways to squeeze in your exercise ?
I'm still here
I'm still here and I'm doing fairly well. I'm going to go and back date several entries because I really do like going back and reading them afterwards.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
End of Week 4
At the end of week 4, I noted that I journaled Monday - Friday.
My accomplishment was that I practiced a couple times sitting with my hunger. Really letting myself feel what it felt like and how it wasn't so scary, after all. I know that for some people that can increase the urge to eat unhealthfully, but for me, I needed to remember that a little hunger was okay.
There were several years where I was either pregnant or breastfeeding (or both for a couple months) and getting too hungry could either cause me to get nauseous or could affect my milk supply. So, I definitely had started to eat when I wasn't hungry and it often wasn't the best of choices.
I also saw my weight go down a few pounds by this point. I don't necessarily track how much I lose every week, but I do weigh myself every day to make sure I don't get too far off track.
Probably the biggest accomplisment of this entire week was that I started a new form of exercise. My dear friend is a marathon runner and has a treadmill in her basement with a nice tv set-up to aid distraction. She agreed to sit in her basement with me while I tried to run on her treadmill.
I couldn't believe that I could do it. I ran a minute/walked a minute for 45 minutes and covered 2.5 miles in that time. I still can't believe I got through it. I was so, so proud of myself and those endorphins lasted all day.
It was a good thing that run kick-started my metabolism that day, because that evening was my monthly "Mom's Night Out" and I ate and drank a lot.
My commitments for the next week include:
My accomplishment was that I practiced a couple times sitting with my hunger. Really letting myself feel what it felt like and how it wasn't so scary, after all. I know that for some people that can increase the urge to eat unhealthfully, but for me, I needed to remember that a little hunger was okay.
There were several years where I was either pregnant or breastfeeding (or both for a couple months) and getting too hungry could either cause me to get nauseous or could affect my milk supply. So, I definitely had started to eat when I wasn't hungry and it often wasn't the best of choices.
I also saw my weight go down a few pounds by this point. I don't necessarily track how much I lose every week, but I do weigh myself every day to make sure I don't get too far off track.
Probably the biggest accomplisment of this entire week was that I started a new form of exercise. My dear friend is a marathon runner and has a treadmill in her basement with a nice tv set-up to aid distraction. She agreed to sit in her basement with me while I tried to run on her treadmill.
I couldn't believe that I could do it. I ran a minute/walked a minute for 45 minutes and covered 2.5 miles in that time. I still can't believe I got through it. I was so, so proud of myself and those endorphins lasted all day.
It was a good thing that run kick-started my metabolism that day, because that evening was my monthly "Mom's Night Out" and I ate and drank a lot.
My commitments for the next week include:
- Journaling everything
- Having a vegetable at lunch every day
- Having fruit every afternoon
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Accomplishments End of Week 3
Here's what I noted at the end of week 3.
My accomplishments were keeping a detailed journal Monday - Saturday and that I was able to eat under my points on Monday. I ate very intentionally on Monday, eking out every last calorie for less points than I am allotted.
Again, I ate all my flex points on the weekend and then some, on Sunday. I just can't seem to get over the idea that the weekend is my time to splurge. On Saturday I ran errands for several hours and included a couple stops for snacks. I didn't think about what I wanted, just walked into 7-11 or the drugstore and looked around.
For the next week, I committed to being intentional about my flex points - trying to really plan out the 2-3 things that I feel like I have to have and allocating points towards them, rather than trying to use up all 35.
I also commit to journaling everything - every lick, taste, and bite.
My accomplishments were keeping a detailed journal Monday - Saturday and that I was able to eat under my points on Monday. I ate very intentionally on Monday, eking out every last calorie for less points than I am allotted.
Again, I ate all my flex points on the weekend and then some, on Sunday. I just can't seem to get over the idea that the weekend is my time to splurge. On Saturday I ran errands for several hours and included a couple stops for snacks. I didn't think about what I wanted, just walked into 7-11 or the drugstore and looked around.
For the next week, I committed to being intentional about my flex points - trying to really plan out the 2-3 things that I feel like I have to have and allocating points towards them, rather than trying to use up all 35.
I also commit to journaling everything - every lick, taste, and bite.
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